Aquarius (21 Jan-19 February)
When was the last time you went bowling?
Pisces (20 February-20 March)
Life is short. Sing in the car and the shower today.
Aries (21 March-20 April)
Whoever said change is good, really hasn’t looked at the weird glob of pennies in your car, cup holder. Avoid change today or pay the sticky price.
Taurus (21 April-21 May)
Your online, shopping star is in total alignment with your credit cycle. Shop for holiday gifts now and save on shipping.
Gemini (22 May-21 June)
Yes!
Cancer (22 June-22 July)
Your are too old for the tooth fairy and too old to be procrastinating on going to the dentist. Keep it up and you won’t be too young for dentures.
Leo (23 July-22 Aug)
A bird in the hand is NOT worth two in the bush today. Bet on those bush-dwellin’ birds or carry a hanky for your poopy palms.
Virgo (23 August-21 September)
Your Interest rate is up! I’m not talking about mortages and credit cards. People are acually interested in you! Dust off your black book and add some numbers.
Libra (22 September-22 October)
Go get ‘em tiger! They certainly are not coming to you.
Scorpio (23 October-21 November)
Kick “you know who” to the curb. He/ she already has his mind in the gutter anyway.
Sagittarius (22 Nov-21 December)
Avoid talk radio, today. You are already talking to yourself WAY too much lately.
Capricorn (22 Dec-20 January)
You can turn the world on with your smile. You can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile...
Inspirational-Otter.com
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