Parking lot idiocracy

There is nothing more annoying than driving through the parking lot in search of a space only to find somebody has double-parked their car, taking up two spaces and forcing the search to continue.

What is the purpose of this? Is there any good reason for being so selfish that you need to deprive the world of a perfectly good parking space so that you can avoid having another vehicle get too close?

Is your car so precious that one space just isn't good enough?

Every time I encounter such selfish acts, I pray to God that he sends a flock of pigeons to leave a healthy clump of poop all over your freshly washed coupé.

It is drivers like you who deserve to run over nails every morning on your way to work during a heavy downpour.

Sound bitter? You bet.

You are the dried scum under the bottom of your steering wheel that builds up during the summer months. There is nobody beneath you, oh "King of the Forbidden Parking Hole"…except for one.

There is one who has outdone your selfish deed. That person is the motorcycle rider who takes up a whole parking space instead of using the designated motorcycle parking spaces.

To you, my Crotch-Rocket Space Invader, I say, "Shame be on the one with the gas beneath his wings."

Your need for so much space makes me wonder if you also suffer from having a "wide stance" in public bathrooms. Much like Minnesota Senator Larry Craig, you can deny having issues, but denial, like the river, is free-flowing and avoiding the obvious is only avoiding reality.

Sound bitter? You bet, but for a very good reason.

Try looking for parking at DMC and seeing a perfectly good spot going to waste because somebody decided to use up an entire space in what is the equivalent of placing a hot dog into a pizza.